Fear creates walls. Oh yes it does. This is my mantra, lately. I remind myself of it over and over again - fear creates walls, be brave! Have you ever thought about that, before? I would bet you a dollar fear has created walls in your life.
My mom ran across a daily devotional about fear creating walls, which she shared with me, and I'm so glad she did! I see it every day in so many things, I am astounded.
Fear creeps in. It creeps into my life all the time, and many times I don't even realize it. Every time I feel fearful of something, I try to ignore it and push it out of my mind. I am talking about the simplest things - the fear of doing the dishes, because I don't want to do them. This then creates an even bigger feeling inside me that I don't want to do the dishes, and then it becomes a nearly overwhelming task (a wall in my mind), on my To Do List. I am fearful it will be a pain, and then it is. So I create a wall within myself by not wanting to do them. This is just a tiny example... But fear creeps into my life in much bigger ways, too.
This summer, Brady and I were talking about how easy it is to talk ourselves out of being successful. He had a buyer he wanted me to call, but I was afraid to call her, because what if she said no?! So my fear was creating a wall to my future success. I kept telling myself I would call her the next day, but somehow it never got done. Finally, Brady forced me to call her. I was almost angry with him for making me do it. But I did, and guess what? That phone call led to the biggest sale I have had so far. Why did I let my fear keep my from being successful in the first place? I don't know.
But I do know I am more aware of fear and the role it plays in my life. And since this awareness has come into my life, it seems to be a theme. I recently listened to Jim Carrey's commencement address, and guess what one of the things he talked about was? Fear! He said there are two choices in this world - fear or love, and to always choose love. He is so right. It may sound simple, but it is much harder to put into practice and do, isn't it?
I am feeling fear in the biggest possible way in my life, right now. I am fearful of my precious daughter becoming a teenager and not loving me. I am fearful she is going to move away the second she turns 18. I am fearful for both of my children, that they won't be "perfect" or make the "right" decisions, which leads me to be too harsh on them, at times, thus creating a wall between myself and them when in fact, the truth of the matter is that I am trying to guide them and help them and become closer to them. In other words, I am terrified of my babies growing up and scared to death of what their lives will throw at them and will they be prepared? I have so many issues, just like every single person I know, in my extended family that I have found myself casting those fears into my immediate family. My kiddos, who have never, ever fought, have started having minor arguments. They seem to be growing a bit apart, and I am so worried they will end up like my brother and I, who sadly don't have a relationship to speak of (even though I love him very much). I am so fearful of this happening, I sometimes create walls between my little B's while trying to help. When I am not fearful, it is easy to look at them and see that they will never be what my brother and I are to each other - they have a deep and abiding love for one another, a protective armor of respect. Nonetheless, I find myself panicking at moments when I shouldn't. And the biggest fear comes from issues surrounding the people I love the most. Interesting, that. But it is always the ones who mean the most to us that we hurt the most.
Fear, I think, is the Devil himself. How else could something so evil be so powerful? And so I am grateful to at least be aware and I am finding more refuge in my prayers and I am doing my best to be brave. And to believe. I am trying to believe in myself, in my love, in the people who mean the most to me. I don't want to create walls, I want to tear them down. I could name a million ways fear tries to work in my life, but I am working hard to give it the boot. I aim to choose love over fear. And I hope, after reading this, you will, too.
Monday, September 15, 2014
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Have you noticed anything special about Brady? NO CRUTCHES! He has been hobbling around crutch-free for just over a week, now! He has quite a limp, and he doesn't move very fast, but it is so nice for him to be able to walk around a bit. Walking is a blessing!
Brady and Clint's oldest son, Blaine. He was recently married, as well! Newlyweds everywhere! We love Blaine and are so glad we got to see him.
Clint and his family...Theada, Blaine, Joe, Bailey, Clint, Beverly and Zane.